You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
