I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
