How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
