I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
