Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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