omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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