I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
