you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
