this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
