Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
