Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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