I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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