You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
