i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
