Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
