and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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