What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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