i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Someone signed my nipple.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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