You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Rumble strips road head = magical
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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