Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
