How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
too bad you live with your parents still
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
