i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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