Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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