They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
