She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize