Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
