Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish I only lived at night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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