I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
