And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Girls should come with a carfax report
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
