toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
