none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
