You really coming over, don't trick.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
