She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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