Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I bet he comes in French.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize