Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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