her vagine was all disorganized.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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