I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
