Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
