So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
