$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
