Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
