I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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