It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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