I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My cat gives me a boner
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
