she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
