I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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