I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
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