We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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