my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
