Hey man sorry I got all grabby
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
