no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
