so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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