I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize