is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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