Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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