hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
