her vagine was all disorganized.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
