i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
