Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
