stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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