I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
