ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
