Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
