I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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