Please, let me fuck your mom
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my being single is dangerous.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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