her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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