there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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