Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
