but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
