Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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