i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
